


CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - 4.02 Pregnancy Test Coda Fic

by Poutini



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Choose Your Own Adventure, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, First Times, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, Shower Sex, Snuggling, Some canon divergent, Tenderness, Will write porn for poutine, YKINMK and my kink is showing my work, coda fic, make math sexy again, s4e02 pregnancy test, some canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 8,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poutini/pseuds/Poutini
Summary: This is aCHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTUREstyle fic.This means donotread it from start to finish.There are thirty-five different stories that can be generated by following the different pathways.If you feel so inclined, track your choices and let me know in a comment what route you took each time.Fully hyperlinked for optimal reader experience!Nerd out with me in Chapter 25!
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 181
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have a small number of cheerleaders who wave their pompoms on a daily basis, and a large number of you who have left such consistently lovely comments. Thank you!
> 
> I'm a little nervous about posting such a labour of love as a one-shot, lest it get buried in the feed in short order, so if you like this, please share with others!
> 
> Should this be a series idea? Feedback appreciated.

“Lock it up, David!”

David laughed into the kiss, his hand wrapped around the back of Patrick’s head, his tongue teasing at the seam of his lips. Patrick let him in willingly, a small groan David felt, more than he heard, escaping as they paused for a moment to take a breath. 

Dropping his hand to Patrick’s shoulder, David applied a bit of pressure, encouraging Patrick to lay back on the bed. David followed him down, lying on his side, facing Patrick who was now flat on his back. David’s hand danced at the hem of Patrick’s sweater, his fingertips skimming the soft skin underneath. 

He tipped forward, capturing Patrick’s lips once again, deepening the kiss. Patrick responded in kind, his own hand gripping David’s bicep tightly. 

David’s lips withdrew from Patrick’s eliciting a plaintive whine. David smiled against Patrick’s cheek as he first planted kisses there, before traveling down Patrick’s neck, and up behind his ear. 

David’s roaming hand tugged Patrick’s sweater up a little. “Is this okay?” David murmured softly, his lips ghosting across Patrick’s. 

Patrick gasped at the skin to skin contact on his abdomen, a shiver making him jump, and goosebumps pimpling their way up his flank. 

**All systems, go! Go to[Chapter 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60506278).**

**Whoa! Yellow light! Go to[Chapter 3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60506350). **


	2. Chapter 2

“Yes!” Patrick managed, a little louder than he thought he’d be. “God, yes!”

David hummed happily, his lips twisting to the side in his signature smirk. The palm of his hand slid up Patrick’s sweater, rubbing gentle circles, a single finger venturing to trace the hair that extended down from Patrick’s navel. Patrick’s back arched in response, and David could see the bulge in his jeans straining against the pressure of the unforgiving fabric. 

David’s mouth found its way back to Patrick’s neck, while his hand stretched the collar of the sweater out of the way, clearing a path to Patrick’s collarbone. 

“What do you want, Patrick? Do you want to take the lead, or…?”

Patrick maneuvered himself so he could pull David into a bruising kiss. He pulled back, his pupils blown wide, and lips swollen and pink. 

**Patrick takes charge, go to[Chapter 4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60598891).**

**Patrick defers to David’s experience, go to[Chapter 5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60598921). **


	3. Chapter 3

Patrick froze.

David pulled back, resisting his own tendency to panic. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Patrick stared at David, unblinking. David could see he was starting to gulp for air. _Oh no_.

**Patrick’s panic escalates, go to[Chapter 6.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599011)**

**David springs into action, go to[Chapter 7.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599059)**

**Patrick regroups, go to[Chapter 8](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599146)**


	4. Chapter 4

Patrick’s eyes were wild with desire. He had _no idea_ his body could react so violently to the touch, the kiss, the caress of another human being in this way. It was _intoxicating_ and his head was swimming with all the permutations and combinations of where this night could go. 

Before he could get too far into his own head, or get distracted by the _actual_ number of permutations and combinations of the night’s events, Patrick pushed David back to lie on the bed, and came to straddle his hips. It was his turn to nip and nibble at David’s neck, satisfied at the purplish marks he was leaving behind. 

Patrick felt David’s large hands wrap themselves around his hips, holding him in place. When David planted his feet on the bed, and bucked his pelvis, tipping Patrick forward. 

Patrick posted his hands, bracketing each side of David’s head. He dipped his head, taking David’s lips in a long, languid kiss. 

David smiled into the kiss. “Mmmmmm. I _like_ this side of you. What do you want to happen tonight, honey?”

**Patrick wants to take things slow, go to[Chapter 9.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599200)**

**Patrick has had enough of slow, go to[Chapter 10.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599230)**


	5. Chapter 5

Patrick looked up at David, making brief eye contact before casting his eyes shyly downward.

“Um, I don’t really know what I’m doing here, David.”

David pressed his pelvis up against Patrick’s thigh. “Oh, honey, I’d say you’re doing just fine.”

Patrick huffed out a small laugh. “Well, I am a quick study...but perhaps you could lead the way?”

David flashed a dimpled grin as he threw one leg over Patrick’s hips, pinning him to the bed. 

He licked a stripe up Patrick’s neck, landing behind his ear, where his teeth gently pulled on Patrick’s earlobe. “Alright, honey,” he purred softly into Patrick’s ear. “Let’s go.”

**Patrick wants to take things slow, go to[Chapter 11.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599263)**

**Patrick has had enough of slow, go to[Chapter 12](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599290).**


	6. Chapter 6

Patrick pressed himself up with the palms of his hands, and skittered backwards on the bed, nearly falling off. He swung his legs over, and planted his feet on the floor, coming to stand shakily. 

David reached for him, but Patrick took several steps away from the bed.

He began pacing. “I don’t know what I’m doing, David. I can’t...I don’t…”

David sat on the edge of the bed, giving Patrick a bit of breathing room. “Patrick, it’s fine, we don’t have to do anything. If I all get tonight is to fall asleep and wake up next to you, I’m happy. Honey, I just want to enjoy time together uninterrupted.”

“But...but this is our one chance? And what if...what if I...I can’t…”

Patrick’s pacing brought him within arm’s reach of David. Before he could convince himself otherwise, David reached out, grasping Patrick’s forearm. “Come on,” he said gently, tugging lightly on Patrick’s arm. “Come sit.”

Patrick allowed himself to be pulled a little closer before he stopped, feet rooted to the floor. “Maybe I should just...go? I’m sorry, I’m a disapp - “

David tugged a little more insistently, dislodging Patrick’s stance. “No, no. Come here.”

Finally, Patrick sat, but his eyes remained downcast. 

David took Patrick’s hands in his own. “Listen, you’re the furthest thing from a disappointment. Can I hug you?”

Patrick didn’t lift his head, but nodded slowly.

David wrapped his arms around Patrick and squeezed tight. “You know,” he said fondly, “I was pretty sure it was me that was gonna freak out tonight.”

Patrick scoffed, but let out a tiny, almost imperceptible laugh.

David pulled back just enough to be able to see Patrick’s face. “Can I kiss you?”

The corners of Patrick’s mouth twitched, twisting into a small smile. He nodded again.

David unwrapped one arm so he could tenderly tip Patrick’s chin up. His thumb swept gently across Patrick’s cheek, his hand coming to rest cupping his jaw. David brushed their lips together, waiting for Patrick’s reaction to go further. When Patrick let out a small moan, and leaned in, David met him halfway.

“What do you want, Patrick?” David whispered against Patrick’s lips.

**Patrick’s head is back in the game, go to[Chapter 13.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599314)**

**Maybe this is enough for tonight, go to[Chapter 14.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599341)**


	7. Chapter 7

David recognized the telltale signs of an impending panic attack immediately. 

“Patrick, honey, you need to breathe.”

Patrick looked at David, wide-eyed. 

David took one of Patrick’s hands in his own, and gently traced circles on his palm.

“With me. Patrick.” He exaggerated his inhale for a count of three, and his exhale for the same, watching Patrick carefully. On the second inhale, Patrick joined in. On the fifth inhale, David felt some of the tension leave Patrick’s hand. And on the twelfth inhale, David finally had the courage to check in. 

“How’re you doing?” he asked softly, not wanting to spook Patrick.

The smallest of smiles teased at Patrick’s mouth. “Better. I think I just got in my head a little there. Thank you, David.”

David tugged lightly on Patrick’s hand, encouraging him to move closer. “Can I kiss you?” he asked. Patrick nodded. 

David moved so he could reach out and tenderly tip Patrick’s chin up. His thumb swept gently across Patrick’s cheek, his hand coming to rest cupping his jaw. David brushed their lips together, waiting for Patrick’s reaction to go further. When Patrick let out a small moan, and leaned in, David met him halfway.

“What do you want, Patrick?” David whispered against Patrick’s lips.

**Patrick’s head is back in the game, go to[Chapter 13.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599314)**

**Maybe this is enough for tonight, go to[Chapter 14.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599341)**


	8. Chapter 8

Patrick pulled back slightly, his eyes a little unfocused. David watched, curious, patient. 

He inhaled deeply. David waited.

He surged forward. David met him halfway, their lips crashing together. 

There was still a hesitancy about Patrick, however, and David held back, waiting, knowing in time that Patrick would either worm his way out of his own head, or pull back if he needed.

Sure enough, the kisses slowed. David reached out and caressed Patrick’s cheek.

“What is it, honey?” he asked softly. 

Patrick took a breath, as though he was about to speak, and then stopped. His brow furrowed. 

He took one of David’s hands in his own, and held it as he scooted back against the headboard.

As he spoke, his voice was small. “I’m sorry, David.”

David reached out and placed his free hand on Patrick’s knee. “It’s fine. We don’t have to do anything tonight. Just being with you is enough.”

Patrick nodded. “I know. I just...can I tell you something?”

David squeezed Patrick’s hand. “You can tell me anything.”

Patrick stared down at his thumb that was mindlessly tracing circles on the back of David’s hand. His eyes remained downcast.

“So, uh, at the risk of ruining the moment…”

David scoffed, causing Patrick to finally look up, a flash of admonishment in his eyes. “Sorry, sorry.” David gestured wildly with one hand. “Go on.” 

“Uh huh. So, I know we said we’d lock it up. But there’s something I need you to know.”

David felt his heartbeat accelerate, and his blood begin to dance. Panic rising.

“Before I came to Schitt’s Creek, I used to be engaged. To a woman.”

On some level this wasn’t a surprise to David, so on some level, the panic began to recede.

“David, I’ve spent half my life thinking something was _wrong_ with me. Sex was a chore, something to get through, and now…”

Panic was being replaced by something that felt a little like pride. “Now?”

“And now, the mere thought of kissing you, touching you...it makes me wild, David. It’s a little overwhelming.” 

The hand that had been holding David’s pulled away, as Patrick pulled his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his arms tight around them. David could see that Patrick was fighting off tears, and that his breath was quickening. He reached out and placed a hand on Patrick’s knee, and in response, Patrick’s grip on himself only tightened, his knuckles white. 

_Oh no._

**Go to[Chapter 7.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599059)**


	9. Chapter 9

David felt Patrick grin into the kiss. “I like that you bring out this side in me, David.”

A flush crept across David’s skin.

Patrick’s breath was hot against David’s neck. “God, I want...everything with you. But…”

“But?” David managed to croak out, highly aroused and distracted by the kisses Patrick was planting on his neck. 

“But...I don’t want to race to the finish, you know?”

David nodded. Rationally, he knew. Physically, _well_. “Can you be more specific, honey?”

**Clothes come off, go to[Chapter 15.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599386)**

**Clothes stay on, go to[Chapter 16.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599449)**


	10. Chapter 10

David felt Patrick grin into the kiss. “I like that you bring out this side in me, David.”

A flush crept across David’s skin.

Patrick’s breath was hot against David’s neck. “God, I want...everything with you. And…”

“And?” David managed to croak out, highly aroused and distracted by the kisses Patrick was planting on his neck. 

“And, I’m tired of waiting, David. I’ve waited 30 years to feel this good. I’m ready.”

David’s mind was an out of control freight train, thinking of all the possible implications behind Patrick’s words. 

“So, uh, when you say you’re ready, what _exactly_ do you mean, Patrick?”

**“I want you to fuck me, David.” Go to[Chapter 17.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599524)**

**“I want to fuck you, David.” Go to[Chapter 18.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599596)**


	11. Chapter 11

David had Patrick pinned. He squeezed his knees against Patrick’s hips as Patrick squirmed. 

“Ok, so…” David murmured, nipping at Patrick’s earlobe. “Slow. Tell me what _going slow_ looks like tonight.”

**Clothes stay on, go to[Chapter 21.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599698)**

**Clothes come off, go to[Chapter 22.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599740)**


	12. Chapter 12

David had Patrick pinned. He squeezed his knees against Patrick’s hips as Patrick squirmed. He laced their fingers together, and pulled Patrick’s arms up, holding them down against the bed. 

“Ok, so…” David murmured, nipping at Patrick’s earlobe. “We’re done with slow. Tell me what _that_ looks like tonight.”

**“I want to fuck you, David.” Go to[Chapter 19.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599635)**

**“I want you to fuck me, David.” Go to[Chapter 20.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599671)**


	13. Chapter 13

“Do you want to take the lead, or…?” David asked hesitantly. 

Patrick maneuvered himself so he could pull David into a bruising kiss. He pulled back, his pupils blown wide, and lips swollen and pink. 

**Patrick takes charge, go to[Chapter 4.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60598891)**

**Patrick defers to David’s experience, go to[Chapter 5. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60598921)**


	14. Chapter 14

David felt Patrick’s lips soften, just before he pulled back far enough to look David straight in the eye. 

“Um, can this maybe be enough for tonight?”

David nodded, tipping forward to press a soft kiss against Patrick’s forehead. “We can stop whenever you’d like. If I have my way, there will be plenty more nights together.”

David laid on his back, and held up an arm, waiting for Patrick to curl up on his chest. Patrick took the invitation, resting his head near the crook of David’s shoulder, and draping his arm across his belly. “Thank you, David,” he murmured into the soft skin of David’s collarbone, stifling a yawn. 

David fought back the tears that had been welling up in his eyes. He willed himself to catalogue this precious moment. 

“Goodnight, Patrick,” he replied softly.

“Goodnight, David,” was the mumbled reply. 

**Take me back to[Chapter 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60450292), I want to do this again!**

[Holy shit, show me the math!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60685423)


	15. Chapter 15

David watched as Patrick’s brow furrowed in consideration.

“Clothes off, but hands and mouths only, and no…” Patrick gestured awkwardly behind David.

David grinned. He understood. No use making this more weird than it was naturally going to be. “Deal, honey.”

David swung his leg back over, dismounting from Patrick and from the bed in one graceful move. He started to undo his pants, but Patrick leapt off the bed, and swatted his hands away.

“Fuck, David. Let me. I’ve wanted to undress you for _so long_.”

David couldn’t resist. “Mmmm... _how_ long?”

Patrick growled, his hands fumbling with David’s pants. “B13, David. _Fucking B13_.”

Patrick pulled David’s pants down to pool around his ankles, and David dutifully stepped out of them. Next was David’s sweater, up and off, and folded carefully on the desk. And there David stood, nearly naked, in front of Patrick, whose eyes were dark and drinking it all in. 

For a moment Patrick paused, and for a moment David panicked, before Patrick’s warm hands were roaming all over David’s olive and freckled skin. 

David grappled with Patrick’s movement to tug at his sweater and undershirt, lifting them over his head. He immediately buried his face in the crook of Patrick’s neck, his hands busying themselves with Patrick’s jeans. Button and fly undone, he kissed his way down Patrick’s sternum as he dragged the offending material down to the ground. 

Playing field levelled, both men’s hands and mouths roamed freely. The moans escaping from Patrick’s mouth were _heavenly_ and David wished he could record them and wake up every morning to the sound of Patrick exploring his body. 

Moving back to the bed, Patrick pulled David on top of him, their pelvises grinding together. 

This felt amazing, but David knew he could do better. He shifted himself off of Patrick, moving closer to his feet. One hand teased under the hem of Patrick’s underwear. “Can I…?” 

Patrick nodded, and in a flash, his underwear had joined the rest of his clothes in a heap on the floor.

David sat perched on his heels, Patrick’s jutting erection in front of him. And _wow_ . He had sensed Patrick’s size, when Patrick had pressed up against him in the stock room, but _wow_ this was... _something else_. David shuddered when his mind wandered to a day when Patrick was pressing inside him, thrusting, driving into him relentlessly as he arched his back and…

Patrick’s grip on David’s cock brought David back to the moment. _Jesus_.

Patrick’s bottom lip was caught shyly between his teeth. David threw his head and groaned with the pressure, and Patrick’s lip slipped out as his lips curled into a lascivious grin. 

“I thought I was driving the bus, here, David,” he chided.

David waved gracefully around his crotch. “Mmhmm, well, go ahead, then.”

Invitation accepted, Patrick launched himself forward, no hesitation in taking David’s cock in his mouth. One hand wrapped around the base, he worked up to a rhythm of strokes and licks and drags of his tongue that had David panting and moaning uncontrollably above him within mere minutes. David was incoherent and unable to process much more than the sensation of Patrick’s hot tongue. The idea that this was Patrick’s first time was _impossible_ to conceive in that moment, as he worked David’s cock like a fucking pro, and David tried his best to make a mental reminder to tell him so later. 

In short order, David tapped Patrick on the shoulder, or rather, frantically slapped him, as his orgasm approached. No use, though, because Patrick didn’t slow down, or move, just kept working David until he was coming, _hard_ , down Patrick’s throat. And Patrick took it all like he had practiced all his life for this moment. He slowed his hand on David’s cock, and his mouth just held David in place, as the aftershocks rolled through David’s body. 

When they subsided, David pulled Patrick up for a kiss. “ _Holy fuck_ , Patrick,” he breathed out. 

Patrick just grinned. The dimples in David’s face popped as he returned the smile, a second wind building. “My turn,” David grunted, as he maneuvered himself to take Patrick’s cock as deep down his throat as he could.

**Whew, what a night! Go to[Chapter 23. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599770)**


	16. Chapter 16

Patrick captured David’s lips in a long, languid kiss. David whined a little when he pulled back, eliciting a small chuckle from Patrick.

“God, David. I don’t want you to think I don’t want you...I just really want to not rush anything.”

David nodded, and Patrick leaned in for another long kiss, pressing his erection against David’s hip, his breath catching with the unfamiliar electrical surge sensation coursing through his pelvis. “Can we just keep doing this?”

David gripped Patrick’s waist and held him in place as he shifted underneath creating more friction. “Mmmhmm...but can we wear less pants?”

Patrick stilled just for a brief moment before dismounting and removing his jeans. David scrambled to do the same, returning to his back, clasping his hands behind his head as he watched Patrick undress, imagining all the things he would eventually do to that porcelain skin and impressive package still concealed by cotton. 

David delighted in the gasp that escaped Patrick’s lips when their bodies pressed together again, this time separated by significantly less fabric. David opened his legs, allowing Patrick to drop between them. He hooked his ankles together behind Patrick’s back, digging his heels in and encouraging Patrick to move. 

Patrick began to grind against David, seeking angles and a rhythm that was driving them both wild. His lips sought David’s, as they crushed together desperately, a little messily off-beat with Patrick’s thrusts. David’s moans increased in volume, culminating in a choked out cry as he came, his cock pinned against Patrick’s stomach. His body continued to convulse, his mind floating somewhere in the clouds, as Patrick’s movement slowed. 

But when Patrick tried to draw back, David snapped back to reality, his hands gripping Patrick’s hips tight, holding him in place. “Mm-mm, Patrick. _Fuck me_ ,” he insisted, bucking his sticky groin slightly to emphasize his point. “Come on, Patrick, take what you need.”

Patrick slowly built up a rhythm again. David’s hands left Patrick’s hips in favour of caressing his flank, his strong abdomen, up his arms, his biceps and those shoulders. David watched transfixed as Patrick’s face contorted, his breathing coming in heaving gulps.

“That’s it,” David soothed. He tugged Patrick down far enough that he could kiss his neck and whisper into his ear. “Come for me, Patrick. You’re so gorgeous, baby.”

The heat of David’s breath against his skin sent shivers down Patrick’s spine, and the encouragement and the words _gorgeous_ and _baby_ were enough to send Patrick over the edge, coming harder than he thought possible. 

David’s hands slid around to Patrick’s back, tracing gentle patterns as Patrick came back down to earth. 

“Hey... _baby_ ,” David murmured against his temple. Patrick shuddered and groaned. David filed that reaction away for later. 

“We’re sticky, Patrick. Come on, let’s get cleaned up.” 

**Well, that was a _fun_ night, go to [Chapter 24.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599815)**


	17. Chapter 17

Patrick started tugging at David’s sweater, pulling the garment up and over David’s head. David opened his mouth to admonish Patrick about his careless handling of such an expensive piece, but before he could get a word out, Patrick was dismounting off David and folding the sweater carefully and placing it on Stevie’s couch. Instead, David watched, transfixed, as Patrick pulled his own sweater over his head, revealing a toned, broad chest and shoulders spotted with light freckles that made David shiver with want. 

He couldn’t help but reach out, making grabby hands as Patrick crawled back on top, and pulling him down into a deep kiss. David licked deep into Patrick’s mouth before drawing back slightly. “So, when you say, you want me to _fuck_ you...what exactly do you mean, Patrick? Because _fucking_ means a lot of different things to a lot of diff-...”

Patrick cut him off with another kiss. This time, he moved from David’s mouth, to his neck, to the thin and sensitive skin just behind his ear. “I mean,” he breathed hotly, “that I want you inside me.”

David arched up against Patrick, seeking friction. “Ok, but...what...part...of...me?” he managed to ask, in between Patrick nibbling on his collarbone. “Like, fingers?”

Patrick nodded against David’s neck. “Mmhmmm...definitely fingers...and....”

David’s nails raked down Patrick’s back. “ _And?”_

Patrick took a deep, shuddering breath. “David, I want your cock in me. I’ve been practicing.”

David’s brain short-circuited. “ _Practicing!?_ ” he squeaked.

He felt the puff of a small laugh against a nipple. “Mmmhmm,” Patrick affirmed, taking David’s nipple in between his teeth. 

David writhed under Patrick. He needed...less pants. Definitely less pants. He definitely said that out loud. Patrick definitely agreed. They scrambled off the bed, making quick work of their respective bottoms. David grabbed lube and condoms out of his overnight bag. Patrick met him at the bedside, pressing their naked bodies together, their lips and tongues tangled up in a bruising kiss. When they finally came up for air, David had questions.

“Practicing?!”

“Yes, I told you.”

“Ok, but like, with _what_ exactly?”

Patrick shrugged. He wasn’t going to make this easy for David. 

David continued, a little flushed. “Mmmk, how do you want me?”

“Well, David, I’ve really enjoyed _practicing_ standing up.”

 _Just when_ David thought some brain cells had come back online, Patrick drops _that_ visual.

“See, David, I bought this toy, and it’s got a suction cup...and so…”

 _Holy fucking shit._ Well, that was _enough_. David spun Patrick until his hands were braced on the bed. He clicked open the bottle of lube, coated his fingers, and began tracing around Patrick’s rim. Patrick immediately pushed back, seeking more, seeking David deeper. David obliged, adding a second finger, surprised at how quickly and easily Patrick’s body relaxed and accepted the intrusion. Patrick’s moans became a little more desperate as he swayed his hips with David’s thrusts, and when David added a third finger, Patrick’s head dropped to the bed, his breath hitching with each press in, each curve up, each brush against his prostate. He was nearly incoherent, mumbles of David’s name drawn out of six syllables.

“Please,” he choked out. “David, please.”

David slowly withdrew his fingers, and slid the condom down his own, neglected erection. He wiped the excess lube on himself, and added a bit more for good measure. And just because, because the coolness of the lube on his hot skin made Patrick’s back arch in surprise, he poured a thin stream between Patrick’s ass cheeks. 

David lined himself up against Patrick, teasing the tip against his rim. He bent forward, pressing a kiss to the middle of Patrick’s back. “Are you ready, baby?” 

“So ready. Born ready. _Fuck me_ , David,” was Patrick’s babbled response. 

David slowly pressed forward, throwing his head back in pleasure with the tight, intense heat of Patrick’s asshole. He wanted to make this _so_ good for Patrick. He stroked Patrick’s sides gently as he sunk deeper and deeper until he was buried completely, his pelvis knocking against Patrick’s ass. He stilled, waiting for Patrick to adjust. 

Patrick shimmied a little side to side, testing out the new sensation. 

“How’s it feel?” David inquired softly. 

Patrick groaned. “S’good. So good, David. Oh my god.”

David pulled out an inch before slowly pushing back in. Experimentally, he pulled out further, and pushed back in a little harder. A few more times of the same, and Patrick was pushing back against him, meeting him halfway, and driving David’s cock deeper, harder, and faster. 

David reached around and gripped Patrick’s cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts in Patrick’s ass. Patrick was reduced to a sobbing, frenzied mess, his orgasm approaching uncontrollably fast. David slammed into him _one, two, three_ more times before Patrick was coming over David’s fist, and all David could do was hang onto the ride while Patrick’s body bucked wildly. But between the bucking, and the clenching on David’s cock, it was all _too much_ and soon, David’s vision was going black at the edges as he emptied himself into the condom. 

Breathing heavily, he collapsed on Patrick’s back. After a brief moment to catch his breath, he slowly pulled out, holding the condom at the base of his cock. He maneuvered Patrick to lie on the bed, kissing him sweetly before making his wobbly way to the bathroom to clean up. 

**Wow, what a night! Go to[Chapter 23.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599770)**


	18. Chapter 18

Patrick continued lavishing attention on David’s neck, behind his ears, his collarbones. David shivered as Patrick whispered against his skin. “I want to be inside you,” Patrick breathed hotly. 

David arched up against Patrick, a desperate moan escaping his lips. “Please, Patrick.”

Patrick swung his leg back over, coming to stand beside the bed. David sat up and turned to face Patrick, reaching up to tug at Patrick’s baby blue sweater. Patrick took the hint, pulling the sweater over his head and tossing it aside. David palmed at Patrick’s jeans, unbuttoning them, and slowly drawing the zipper down. He couldn’t resist tracing a finger down Patrick’s length, already hard and straining against his cotton boxers. Patrick’s hips bucked forward involuntarily. 

“Mmmm! Someone’s impatient!” David snorted, fully cupping Patrick through the fabric. Patrick groaned above him. 

“David. Take your clothes off,” he growled - the sound making David’s blood dance with want. 

David scrambled to remove his clothes, folding them as best he could, while distracted by a very naked, very flushed, very toned, _very_ hard Patrick in front of him. Patrick bent down, capturing David’s lips in a languid kiss, his tongue tracing the seam of David’s lips. David withdrew slightly. “In my bag...lube...condom…”

Patrick nodded. A very businesslike nod. And fuck, that did things to David. He reached into David’s bag, pulling out the requisite supplies. 

David scooted backwards, planting his feet flat on the bed. “Do you need me to talk you through this, honey?” he asked kindly. 

Patrick shook his head. “Uh, no. I’ve actually done this before...with a woman...and I’m assuming some fundamental principles apply?”

David nodded. 

Patrick knelt between David’s legs. He clicked open the lube, coating his pointer finger. 

Gently, he traced his finger around David’s rim. David tried to remain still, letting Patrick explore, though he was desperate to push against Patrick’s fingers. 

With one hand gripping David’s cock lightly, Patrick finally pressed one finger inside David’s hole. He swiped around slowly, mapping out the muscular ridges inside. David moaned beneath him. “More. Please, more.”

Patrick withdrew slowly, and prepared a second finger with a generous drizzle of lube. A little more assertively, he thrust into David, curling his fingers up and finding that almond shaped gland that, when pressed gently, caused David to gasp, and a small amount of liquid to seep from his cock. It slowly slid down the head of David’s cock, and Patrick couldn’t resist tipping forward for a little lick along David’s frenulum. 

When two fingers were meeting with no resistance, Patrick added a third, and at David’s insistence, he tucked his pinky in, and slowly fucked David with four fingers. David watched Patrick’s face oscillate between care and concern and sheer fascination as his fingers moved in and out of David’s ass. 

David was panting, a sheen of sweat across his forehead. He really, really, really _needed_ to get fucked, like _ten minutes ago_. He pawed at Patrick’s forearm, slowing his movements. “Patrick, now. I’m ready.”

Patrick slid his fingers out of David and wiped the excess lube off on some kleenex. He carefully ripped open the condom and rolled it down his cock. 

Lined up with David’s open and ready hole, he slowly pressed forward. David arched his back to meet him, and with how well he had prepared David, Patrick’s cock slipped straight in, his pelvis coming to rest against David’s. David shifted side to side, adjusting to Patrick’s size. He gripped Patrick’s shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss. “Move, honey,” he whispered.

Patrick withdrew slightly from David’s ass, pushing back in gently. When he did it again, David pushed back to meet him, subtly asking for more, and harder. 

When Patrick obliged, David pushed back faster, subtly asking for not just more, and not just harder, but faster. 

Soon, Patrick was driving into David, incoherently babbling nonsense as his orgasm approached fast and furious. David reached down, stroking himself in time to Patrick’s thrusts, coming over his own fist, clenching hard on Patrick’s cock and driving him over the edge in a blinding, white hot surge of pleasure. 

He collapsed on David, his chest heaving, trying desperately to fill his lungs. 

After a moment, David started fidgeting. “Honey, let me get up. I’ll get us cleaned up.”

Patrick held onto the base of the condom as he pulled out, groaning with the drag on his over-sensitized cock. He rolled over, curling up on the bed, as David teetered off to the bathroom.

**Well, that was _a lot_! Go to [Chapter 23.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599770)**


	19. Chapter 19

_Wow,_ David was not expecting that. Fantasized about, absolutely, and the supplies in his overnight bag indicated a certain degree of hopefulness, but _wow._

He captured Patrick’s lips in a kiss. “Ok, honey,” he said lowly, “here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna get myself ready for you, and then I’m gonna ride you, gonna put on a show for you.”

Patrick’s hips bucked up involuntarily, and the contact, even between several layers of fabric, was enough to make him suck in a tight breath through clenched teeth. “ _God, David, yes._ ”

David crawled backwards until he had cleared Patrick’s legs. He slid off the bed, quickly shucking his clothes, and draping them over a nearby chair. He glanced back at the bed, where Patrick remained, fully clothed, watching David, entranced. David gave a little shimmy, his erection swaying slightly. Patrick’s eyes widened. “You like?” David asked, a little shyly, his bottom lip between his teeth. Patrick nodded, his mouth opening, but no words coming out. 

“Get undressed, Patrick.”

David bent over to retrieve supplies from his bag, exaggerating the pop in his hip. Patrick ripped off his sweater and jeans, giving no regard to their care, and laid back on the bed. David straddled Patrick’s knees. “Next time, you’re gonna do this. Watch carefully.” 

Patrick snorted. _As if_ he would do anything but.

David coated two fingers generously with lube, and, making eye contact with Patrick, he reached behind himself to trace them around his sensitive rim before dipping inside. “The key is…” he choked out, “to...create...space.” He scissored his fingers a little, the sensation causing him to drop his head back in pleasure. Pulling out, David sat back on his heels, and poured lube on three fingers. “Three…is usually...enough…” he grunted, as he slid his fingers back into himself. “But…” David looked Patrick dead in the eye, wanting to see his reaction. “Four is also good...I’ve...never...done...more...but maybe with...you.” Patrick gasped, his eyes wide as saucers, finally reaching out to take himself in hand. David’s back arched as he reached as deep as he could. “I’m almost ready, Patrick. Put the condom on.”

Patrick ripped open the small square package, and drew the condom down his throbbing erection, holding it steady at the base as David moved forward. 

One last check-in. A deep kiss. “You sure?” A nod, and a kiss filled with promise.

David moved until he was positioned above Patrick’s cock, the tip teasing at his entrance. He slid down slowly until he was fully seated, flush against Patrick’s pelvis. David corkscrewed himself slowly. “How is it?” he asked softly.

Patrick’s skin was flushed pink, his breath already quick. “Oh my _god_ , David...I had _no idea_...s’good...so tight...so hot…”

David braced himself on Patrick’s shoulders, and began moving up and down, angling slightly to the side where he knew Patrick’s thick cock would light up his prostate. Patrick’s moans became incoherent babbles of a man drowning in pleasure. 

David reached out and pulled Patrick’s hand to his cock, encouraging him to stroke slowly, as David pistoned himself increasingly deep, hard, and fast on Patrick’s cock. David undulated his pelvis front to back, seeking to feel Patrick everywhere at once. The competing sensations of Patrick’s cock in his ass, and Patrick’s hand gripping him tightly drove David to the edge, launching him over with a cry as he came all over Patrick’s hand and stomach. He kept grinding himself against Patrick, until Patrick followed him, screaming David’s name over and over until his voice was hoarse and barely a syllable could escape. 

David held onto the base of the condom as he slowly pulled off of Patrick, collapsing next to him on the bed. 

**Well, I need a cigarette after that, and I don’t even smoke. Go to[Chapter 24.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599815)**


	20. Chapter 20

This was...unexpected. David drew back. “Are you sure?” he asked, his eyebrows stitched together. “You know there aren’t like...badges, or levels, to achieve here, right?”

Patrick laughed softly before pulling David down for a kiss. “David, I’m sure. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

David nipped at Patrick’s lower lip before dismounting him, standing at the side of the bed, and holding out a hand. “Mmmk. C’mhere, then.”

Patrick took David’s hand, and David led him to the bathroom, where he started to remove Patrick’s clothing. 

David caught sight of Patrick’s confused look. He tipped Patrick’s chin up for a tender kiss. “Patrick, do you trust me?” Patrick nodded, not breaking contact with David’s lips. 

“Good,” he breathed, as he removed his own sweater and bottoms, carefully folding them on the toilet seat. David started the shower, pulled back the curtain and gestured for Patrick to get in. 

Once they were both under the spray, David drizzled a small amount of shampoo into his palm and lathered it up, before rubbing his hands through Patrick’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp. 

He pushed Patrick fully under the spray, rinsing off his hair before kissing him softly on his forehead. “Turn around, honey,” he whispered. 

David grabbed the bar of soap, saying a quick prayer of thanks that Stevie had recently upgraded to Rose Apothecary products. He soaped up Patrick’s back and neck before slinking down slowly, rubbing his sudsy hands along the back of Patrick’s thighs. He encouraged Patrick to spread his legs a little bit, and David’s soapy hands ventured to cup Patrick’s balls, rolling them gently. Patrick tipped his head back with a groan.

One of David’s hands reached around, gripping Patrick’s impressive erection. He stroked it lazily, as his other free hand slid between Patrick’s cheeks, his fingers rubbing tantalizingly against Patrick’s hole. 

“David!” he gasped. “Please!”

David stood up, and turned Patrick back around, making sure all the soapy residue was washed off. He turned the shower off and pulled the curtain back, gesturing for Patrick to step out. He wrapped Patrick up in a fluffy towel, drying him off. With a kiss, and a pat on the ass, he sent Patrick back out to the bed so he could dry himself off. 

When David emerged from the bathroom moments later, Patrick was lying spread-eagle on the bed, his skin warm and pink from the hot shower. He was lazily stroking himself, his erection proud and jutting away from his body. 

David reached into his bag, pulling out the lube and a condom, before settling on the bed, between Patrick’s legs. He tucked his hands behind Patrick’s knees, bending them so his feet were flat against the bed. With one hand gripping the base of Patrick’s cock, David tipped forward, taking him fully into his mouth. He stroked the base slowly, as his tongue licked up the underside, finding all the sensitive spots that made Patrick writhe beneath him. His tongue moved to Patrick’s balls, taking each one into his mouth at a time, before licking a stripe solidly up Patrick’s perineum. Patrick’s pelvis lifted off the bed, seeking more contact with David’s tongue. David hoisted Patrick’s hips off the bed, exposing Patrick’s clean and puckered hole. Experimentally, he swiped his tongue across it, eliciting a lascivious shout from Patrick. He did it again, and again, with Patrick’s cries becoming increasingly more desperate above him. David speared his tongue inside Patrick, and for a moment, the silence above made him question whether Patrick was still with him. A quick glance up, and he saw that Patrick was craning his neck to watch David, as David fucked him with his tongue. 

With David’s patience for _not_ being inside Patrick wearing thin, he withdrew his mouth and his hands, pressing a quick kiss to Patrick’s knee before hopping off the bed. In the bathroom, he quickly gargled with some Listerine, before returning to his position on the bed. David clicked open the lube, and without much ado, coated two of his fingers generously. He traced them around Patrick’s rim. Patrick, already so desperate for contact, pressed against him. David slipped in easily, unsurprised at how quickly Patrick relaxed around him. He explored all angles inside Patrick, seeking the spots that made Patrick gasp and twitch and squirm. David effortlessly added a third finger, working to create space with a scissoring motion. 

When he was satisfied that Patrick was physically ready to receive his cock, David withdrew his fingers and slid the condom on his own, neglected erection. He lined the tip up against Patrick, checking in one final time before pressing in. Patrick pushed himself up on his elbows, watching in awe, as David’s cock breached him inch by inch. 

When David was fully seated, Patrick laid back and braced his feet on David’s shoulders. He shifted from side to side, adjusting to the feeling of fullness. David waited until the furrow of concentration on Patrick’s brow subsided before he pulled out an inch and pushed back in a few times. When Patrick showed no signs of discomfort, David increased the depth and speed of his thrusts, and reached out a hand to grasp Patrick’s cock. He matched his thrusts inside with his thrusts on Patrick’s cock, watching Patrick closely. It was difficult to keep his eyes open, but there was no way he was going to miss a second of watching Patrick take a cock in his ass for the first time. 

His efforts were rewarded when Patrick came - his face contorting, his mouth twisting into a fucked out and satisfied smile, his eyes wide, then droopy with fatigue. David wasn’t far behind Patrick, as he drove into his clenching asshole, finally coming with cries of Patrick’s name on his lips. 

Holding the base of the condom, David withdrew slowly, helping Patrick to lower his legs before collapsing next to him on the bed. 

**_Whoa._ Go to [Chapter 23. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599770)**


	21. Chapter 21

Patrick wouldn’t stop kissing David. And David was fully on board with that. _Everything_ with Patrick was perfect, and this was no different. Hell, if this was all they did tonight, he was fine with that. He was even _more_ fine when Patrick shifted, encouraging David to fall between his legs, effectively grinding their clothed erections together. Patrick gasped against David’s lips. 

“Can we...just keep doing this...a little?”

David pressed down against Patrick’s groin. “Oh, honey, I’d hardly call this _little_.”

Patrick chuckled against David’s neck, but didn’t miss a beat pressing kisses to his skin. 

David’s mouth found Patrick’s collarbone, and as he started to build a rhythm rocking against Patrick, he sucked a purplish bloom into the skin. He got so lost in peppering Patrick’s skin with kisses and sucking marks into what could be hidden by sweaters that he didn’t notice Patrick’s breath change to heaving gulps punctuated by cries as he came hard in his pants until it was too late. 

David pulled back, watching the tail end of Patrick’s orgasm. 

As Patrick floated back to earth, a flush spread up his neck and across his face. His eyes darted left to right, unwilling to make eye contact with David. 

“Hey,” David said softly, kissing his forehead, trying to focus him towards the front. 

Patrick scoffed. “That was embarrassing,” he mumbled. 

“No, no, no,” David reassured him. “That was actually really fucking hot. You’re beautiful when you come.”

Patrick huffed out a small laugh. “But you didn’t…?”

David shook his head. He pushed back to sit on his heels, and undid his jeans. “I didn’t...but...do you want to watch?”

The flush deepened on Patrick’s skin, but David suspected it was no longer with embarrassment. He nodded. “Pleeease,” he whined.

David tugged his bottoms down to his knees, and slowly took his cock in his hand. Keeping eye contact with Patrick the whole time, he stroked himself slowly. He knew that if he went too fast, he wasn’t going to last. The pressure built and built and with a flick of his wrist and a light ghosting of a touch over the head, David came, his eyes tearing as he fought to keep them open so he could watch Patrick witnessing the effect he had on David. When the aftershocks subsided, David maneuvered himself over Patrick’s legs until he could collapse on the bed next to him. 

**The amount of laundry generated and the quality of the sex are directly correlated. Go to[Chapter 23.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599770)**


	22. Chapter 22

Patrick bucked his hips up seeking friction. “ _God, David._ I want...everything with you. Just not all at once...can you show me how to make you feel good?”

David nodded enthusiastically. “Mmmhmm! I can do that.” He slipped a finger under the waist band of Patrick’s jeans. “Can we take these off?”

Patrick bit his bottom lip, before affirming the request. 

In an uncharacteristic show of agility, David hopped off the bed, removed his own sweater, pants and boxer-briefs and leaning forward to help Patrick do the same without him leaving the bed. David crawled back onto the bed, coming to lie on his side, facing Patrick. 

He intertwined the fingers of his left hand with Patrick’s right. “It’s really quite simple,” he said softly. “Start with what works for you.”

David drew Patrick’s hand down to his throbbing erection, untangling their fingers and wrapping Patrick’s around his cock. Patrick began experimentally stroking David, his grip periodically ghosting over the head, and a bit more pressure just on the underside. David groaned, appreciatively. 

David’s left hand explored Patrick’s exposed porcelain skin, his palm running along Patrick’s flank, shoulders, and down his chest, stopping to tweak a nipple and watching for a reaction. A small gasp escaped from Patrick’s lips, so David’s fingers walked over to the other nipple, pinching it between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it until it was hard. David’s attention on Patrick’s body waned, however, as his orgasm approached. His hand gripped Patrick’s hip tightly as he came over Patrick’s fist, crying out hoarsely. 

Patrick pulled away, considering the mess spilled over his hand, webbing between his fingers. Tentatively, he brought it to his lips, sticking his tongue out and licking a small amount of come off his skin. This made David shiver and groan with want. With one hand, he reached out and gripped Patrick’s cock, and with the other, he pulled Patrick’s come-covered hand down, encouraging Patrick to wrap it around the hand already slowly stroking his cock. With Patrick’s filthy hand covering his own, he leaned into a bruising kiss, stopping to track his lips up Patrick’s neck and up to his ear where he murmured “show me,” against Patrick’s skin. 

Patrick’s hold on David’s hand tightened, as they demonstrated how he wanted to be touched. David could feel the pulsing in Patrick’s cock, and he knew this wasn’t going to take long. Sure enough, Patrick was soon erupting over both of their hands, his hot liquid mixing with David’s. 

David held Patrick’s cock through the aftershocks, finally pulling away when Patrick was oversensitized to touch. He couldn’t resist however, pulling Patrick’s hand to his mouth, tasting the combination of their two releases. 

Both satisfied, they flopped to their backs, catching their breath. 

**Filthy boys need to clean up! Go to[Chapter 24. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60599815)**


	23. Chapter 23

David came back from the bathroom, a warm washcloth and a soft towel in hand. He tenderly cleaned up Patrick, and tossed the towels into the laundry basket. He’d have to owe Stevie for the mess they’d made, but it was _so, so_ worth it. 

The sex had been... _mindblowing_ ... _life-changing_ , Patrick would call it tomorrow, but most of all, David was excited to curl up behind Patrick and wrap him up in his arms, with no worries of a familial or roommate interruption. 

Patrick melted into David’s embrace, which made David’s heart clench a little. He pressed a kiss to the nape of Patrick’s neck. 

“Thank you, Patrick,” he murmured into Patrick’s hair. 

“Mmmm...for what?” Patrick asked sleepily. 

David didn’t have the words, or if he did, they were too big, or felt too vulnerable, at that moment. Fortunately, Patrick was already lightly snoring. 

David slid his palm up over Patrick’s heart, and pressed another kiss to the back of his head, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. 

**Take me back to[Chapter 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60450292), I want to do this again!**

[Holy shit, show me the math!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60685423)


	24. Chapter 24

David pulled a sex-drunk and sleepy Patrick into the bathroom. This version of Patrick was _nearly_ as fun as _wine-drunk_ Patrick that David had met a couple of times. He was malleable and adorable and David’s heart fluttered with a feeling not yet classifiable as he tenderly wiped Patrick clean and helped him brush his teeth and slip on a fresh pair of underwear. 

Holding Patrick’s hand, he tugged him back out to the bed and encouraged him to get under the covers. Patrick obliged, turning on his side to face David. 

“Thank you, David,” he yawned.

David’s lips quirked to the side. “For what?”

Patrick didn’t answer. He just scooted closer to David and nuzzled into David’s chest, making delightfully endearing snuffling noises, and pressing lazy kisses against David’s skin. 

David wrapped his arm around Patrick, pulling him tight. He tipped his head down to kiss Patrick’s temple, inhaling the scent of his shampoo deeply. 

“Goodnight, Patrick,” he whispered, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. 

**Take me back to[Chapter 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60450292), I want to do this again!**

[Holy shit, show me the math!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60685423)


	25. the math that no one asked for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's what this fic looks like as a series of pathways, and then the listing of all the possible stories that can be generated. 
> 
> This is basically what the planning of it looked like, with plot points instead of numbers.

**Take me back to[Chapter 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970807/chapters/60450292), I want to do this again!**


End file.
